Because the old one didn't float too well. It's okay.Roy: Yeah, well he blessed you, too, and I'll give you a hint what it is. It is not really much about how you bowl, but instead how you roll. Jack Napier. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse. What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap? Organize a company service project with an online sign up. Enjoy! Chi Chi Rodriquez, PGA Hall of Fame, I never had one thought all week. With the average U.S. life expectancy rising from 68 years in 1950 to 78.6 years in 2017, the country has more senior citizens now than ever before. One benefit of old age is that your secrets are safe with your friends they cant remember them either! If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur! anonymous, Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Colleen Hoover, A politician is someone who promises a bridge even when theres no water Gregory David Roberts, If youre too open-minded; your brains will fall out. Lawrence Ferlinghetti, The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun Stephen Colbert, Surely after a milkshake has been shaken, shouldnt it be called a milkshook? Leo M, Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. Kurt Vonnegut, The important thing to remember is not to forget Benny Bellamacina, If a book about failures doesnt sell, is it a success? Jerry Seinfeld, Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up. Marian Keyes, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, No intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in with it Fernando Pessoa, Money cant buy love, except on Valentines Day. Matshona Dhliwayo, I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff. Karl Pilkington, Vegetables what food eats before it becomes food. David Weber, When it comes to emotions, women know how to paint with the full set of oils, while men are busy doodling with crayons. Hank Moody, If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking? Regina Griffin, Water is the most essential element in life, because without it you cant make coffee. Karen Salmansohn, Although life and I are not always in love with each other, we do remain on close speaking terms. Brian Randleas Harmony, Beauty lies in the LIES of the beholder! Ashok Kallarakkal, If you worry about missing the boat, remember the Titanic! Sid Bolon, I consider myself to be pretty normal, in an insane kind of way Gerri R. Gray, Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep. Charles M. Schultz, If the pen is mightier than the sword, a sharpie must be plain deadly! Tom Althouse, The early bird catches the worm, but what about the early worm? Anonymous, The literal meaning of life is whatever youre doing that prevents you from killing yourself. Albert Camus, He who laughs last just didnt get the joke. Carroll Bryant, All I have is me, myself and I and we are all getting really tired of each other. Carl White, Generally speaking, I try not to generalize. Addison C. Arthur, Holidays were invented so single women could overeat without feeling guilty. Elizabeth Jane Howard, A signature always reveals a mans character, and sometimes even his name. Evan Esar, Im not Weird Im Limited Edition! Aliaha Brown, My favorite quote in the world is this one. Richelle E. Goodrich, Salad isnt food. Kingpin Quotes - Movie Fanatic Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. Bob Hope, I don't care to join any club that's prepared to have me as a member. Kayla Rutledgeis a college student who spends most of her time writing, singing for her church and eating quesadillas. "I used to be indecisive. See What Customers Are Saying About Our Products, promotional experts are aware that senior stereotypes are changing, printing such phrases on promotional items, Custom Quotes, Slogans, and Sayings to Personalize Your Promo Items, Breast Cancer Slogans, Sayings, and Quotes, Senior Citizens Inspirational Quotes, Funny Sayings, and Jokes, Thanksgiving Quotes, Sayings, and Phrases, How To Set Up a Successful Trade Show Booth, Checklist for Ordering Trade Show Giveaways, Ultimate Buying Guide for Custom Flash Drives, How To Choose Between Wall Calendars, Desk Calendars and Pocket Calendars, Infographic: The Journey of a Promotional Pen, Infographic: The Journey of a Promotional T-shirt, The spirit never ages. Seve Ballesteros(PGA Hall of FameGolfer), I know you can be fined for throwing aclub, but I want to know if you can get fined for throwing a caddy. Simple. Petra Hermans, Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art. Stanislaw Jerzy Lec, In the end, its not the years in your life that count. He sits down next to a beautiful lady, and she can't help but glance at the man and his bulging pockets. Why were the parents embarrassed by their child at the bowling alley? Because he kept bowling his eyes out! No splits too wide if you got the balls. Lee Trevino, Make friends with your caddy and the game will make friends with you. God Take that, you freaky piece of s**t. You don't mow another guy' Hey Roy, can you get sick from drinking piss? Meaningful Quotes - Popular Authors - Quote Topics - Picture Quotes. Plan an office potluck to go with the awards ceremony with a sign up. All you do on the tee is try not to hit the caddy. Lee Trevino, On being asked before the final round what he needed to shoot to win the tournament the rest of the field. One liner tags: life, puns. What is the difference between Barry Zito and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.? The following quotes, slogans, and puns address the joy of ones golden years, the worries associated with aging, and the stigmas that affect elderly populations, often with an inspirational or whimsical tone. Kevin Costner, Actor, If you drink, don't drive. They asked if I could hold, Ive decided: Whatever age I am is the new 30, Now that Ive become a senior, everythings starting to click for me! Read on for some ruminations and turns of phrase that are sure to inspire thought and put a smile on your face. Tap To Copy. (Lady golfer). Don't even putt. !, Golfer:That can't be my ball, it's too old'Caddy:It's been a long time since we teed off sir, Golfer:Please stop checking your watch, it's very distracting'Caddy:It's not a watch sir, it's a compass, Golfer:You've got to be the worst caddy in the world'Caddy:I don't think so, that would be too much of a coincidence. Neighbor: Hey Roy, can you get sick from drinking piss?Roy: I think you can.Neighbor: Even if its your own? Denzel Washington. With old age comes wisdom and discounts. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything would be perfect. Funny Bowling Trophy Quotes - Wise Famous Quotes Best Bowling Sayings. Dont think of them as hot flashes. Think of them as your inner child playing with matches, How are stars like dentures? Both come out at night, I called the incontinence hotline. 184 Motivational One Liners - The funniest motivational jokes You really jarred something loose tiger. SignUpGenius has become a great tool for my dance studio. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went, then it dawned on me. If he strikes, he's the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. In a few minutes we can create a simple clean and easy-to-use sign up sheet for our clients. Don't worry, we have all had those funny bowling memories! We went eleven pin bowling. Where the hel About Us | Copyright Inquiry | Privacy Policy | Contact Us. 1. What's your superpower?" "Bowling is right up my alley." Looking for some fun bowling slogans for your team name, your bowling shirt, or for your league? Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series. 10 Essential Productivity Tips to Get More Accomplished, 50 Funny Jokes that are Appropriate for Work. Jack Lemmon, I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit aneagle, a birdie, an elk, and a moose. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." "Life's like a bird. However, with inflation, the price always goes up. Caddy:The way you play, it's a sin to play on any day, Golfer:This is the worst course I've ever played on'Caddy:This isn't the course, we left that an hour ago! Here are some funny bowling jokes to satisfy your bowling humor! The jokes on this page take many forms and are written in different formats. Thought I should go first, just to get the ball rolling. Trophy Wording Ideas | Trophy Sample Wording The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike. Ernie McCracken: It all comes down to this roll. Finally, they got the ball rolling. These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at Bowling Jokes from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. Flossin'. To make a success of it, youve got to start young. Theodore Roosevelt, Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. Mark Twain, Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. I am originally from Indiana. So cute with funny awards like Longest Commute. PG Wodehouse, UK Author & Humourist, There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling, and golf. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Meghan Jones is a word nerd who has been writing for RD.com since 2017. Everybody likes to be rewarded for their good work especially in an office setting. Beach Puns That Are Shore to Make You Laugh | Reader's Digest Now if only I could teach him to play fetch! Brilliant One-Liner Jokes: 100+ Best To Brighten Your Day One more time, sweetness. "Ten pin?" "No, permanent". Always borrow money from a pessimist. It all comes down to this roll. So enjoy! One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!". One liner tags: puns. One liner tags: life, motivational. Many are without the resources and connections they need to remain happy and healthy, and stigmas surrounding the elderly prevent many from taking action to help. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing. 101+ Fun Bowling Quotes To Strike Your Fancy - Sports Feel Good Stories A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. Baseball is a sport for black men. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. Viewers have loved it, and the volume of viewing has been phenomenal. So enjoy! If you dont mind, it doesnt matter! That's a bit of a stretch." "I don't have a girlfriend. I'd say how hard do I hit it, he'd tell me and I'd swing. Craig Stadler, PGA Tour, 1982 Masters Champion, Hockey is a sport for white men. These puns are a complete strike! Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. The rest can never be mastered. This is because it is a bum per lane. If he strikes, he's the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. I always like to go to Washington D.C. I am breaking it in for a friend. Caddy:It's very good, but personally I prefer golf, Golfer:Do you think it a sin to play golf on aSunday?' Tiger Woods, I'm working as hard I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. "Three strikes and you're out!" My bowling team doesn't like show offs. Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well. 33. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. The bowling team of which I am captain is known lightning. I broke a mirror the other day that's 7 years bad luck. Barbara Kingsolver. Dont let aging get you down; its too hard to get back up! Roy Munson, a man-child, with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. Leave no pin standing If you don't get a strike, spare me Rock and bowl My favorite sport must be bowling because I always strike out with the ladies/men No smoking: just a Lucky Strike Playing catch & throwing strikes Bowling your eyes out Bowling thunder and lightning strikes This is not 'Nam. Enter these funny one-liners. The guys who come down once a year and try to get smart with Mr. Jones' course are the dumb ones. Just ask my ex-wives. Good bowlers always keep their minds out of the gutter. funny bowling quotes - Terse Sayings Two guys are talking about fishing. More information Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Samuel Ullman, The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes. Frank Lloyd Wright, Growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional, Old enough to retire; young enough to enjoy it, One gets more from years of experience than books, The older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune, The only thing that comes to you without effort is old age, Wherever life takes you, go with all your heart. The world can really kick your ass. Ishmael: Whatcha doin', Mr. Munson?Roy: Flossin'.Ishmael: Flossin? Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? Its the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln, Its not the specter of aging that haunts me. Raise my hand. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. Lord Robertson of Port Ellen, UK Politician, If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. "I don't have an attitude problem. "Always borrow money from a pessimist. Since the beginning of civilization, senior citizens have played an essential role in society. Or fastest delivery Tue, Jun 20. The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down. Please check our Privacy Policy. Slashing the worlds collective handicap by 5 shots, one playa at a time! My strategy is simple, knocking them down a pin at a time. Bowling Prizes Bowling Trophy Bowling Party Work Party School Library Office Space Classroom Ideas Average Awards More information . Welcome to our bowling puns. Ideally, the cost of a bowling game should be ten pinnies. Always choose love. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. Extremely Funny One Liners - Best One Liner Jokes in 2023 Find this Pin and more on Relax and Create by danielle barker. Bowling Slogans A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead. One liner tags: attitude, communication, life. It's pretty cute until it poops on your head." "I'm skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day. Giants coach Tom Coughlin surprised his team by canceling their classroom work and taking them bowling. +13. Mother-In-Law! No, Groucho is not my real name. Running a successful bowling alley takes total dedication. Memorable caddy responses to players' comments can only be rolled out with the right golfer otherwise, the caddy/player relationship for the completion of any round may be in serious jeopardy! Amazon.com: Funny Bowling Trophy These quotes are not only funny, they are also pretty clever. Five More Minutes - This tongue-in-cheek award goes to the coworker who schedules his or her meetings on the hour even though you know they won't be there until at least five minutes after. Permalink: One . Some have a very traditional set-up/punchline style, with the set-up in bold and the punchline written smaller in the space below. Bowling Puns Joke Generator. Ishmael: Okay, you want to bowl for some big money, eh? The world can really kick your ass. Studies indicate that 4 out of every 10 professional bowlers, I read a magazine article in the doctor's office today that said, "The finger holes in bowling balls have been found to contain substantial amounts of fecal contamination." 178+ Brilliant Bowling Slogans and Sayings And Phrases When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin. If we don't come back, avenge our deaths." Homer Simpson, "The Simpsons" "Bowling would be more interesting if it were slightly . Here are some famous bowling quotes and sayings that tell you why it is so popular. Funny Bowling Quotes. The greatest award is the appreciation of the people. That matters a lot to me. List of bowling jokes and humor, culled from TV shows, films, stand-up comedy and pop culture. Gopi Sundar. Ten pinnies. He won't expect it back.". "Worrying works! Fuzzy Zoeller(on hisUS Masterswin at the first attempt), A recent survey said that a caddy lives the longest of all jobs. 35+ Bowling Puns And Jokes Guaranteed To Bowl You Over With Laughter Spare us the details. 38+ Whopping Funny One Liner Quotes That Will Unlock Your True Potential Lee Trevino, You can make a lot of money in this game. The basic rule in the bowling game is to ensure you leave no pin standing. You reall Do me a favor, will you? Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. This is because we get countless strikes. AnElephants Assis used when a tee shot goes far too high and not far forward it's high and it stinks. Was I? FREE ENGRAVING ON TROPHIES & PLAQUES. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husband's work. You don't mow another guy's lawn. But I'll lose my entire bonus check because I'm so *bombed*.McKnight Bowl Bartender: You get that way from ginger ale?Roy: Nah, he was sniffing glue in the parking lot. Do you seldom lose a bowling ball? However, the work involved in starting and running it is usually anything but fun. Others are more like mini-stories or scenarios, in which case they've simply been broken up in a way that's convenient and easy to read. What is a Par, What is GIR in Golf? Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. There are rules." John Goodman, "The Big Lebowski" "We're goin' bowling. I wasn't talking when you were bowling.Ernie McCracken: Was I talking out loud? But go out and shoot 77 and they say Hell, he shot 77. Roger Maltbie, PGA Tour & TV Commentator, Why am I using a new putter? My knees, my back, my neck, Old people are just young people who have been alive for a very long time, Old age isnt so bad, considering the alternative. It stays forever young. Lailah Gifty Akita, To keep the heart unwrinkled to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age. Thomas Bailey Aldrich, Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25 unless we havent had our coffee, in which case we feel 107. Martha Beck, Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. David Bowie, (H)e who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition, youth and age are equally a burden. Cephalus, Old age is a good and pleasant thing. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic. Inspirational & Funny Quotes for Senior Citizens | Amsterdam Printing "Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time." - Demetri Martin 2. The Big Lebowski is a neo-noir caper full of hilarious quotes about bowling, Nihilists, and Rug-peers, and The Dude delivers some of the funniest. The Big Lebowski: The Dude's Funniest Quotes - Screen Rant He won't expect it back. There are rules Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. bowlers in the alley - Killed the king-pin - Need bowlers to find them in the alley You cannot strike it, if you dont try it. Some corn stalks were broken and I tried to fix them. "If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur!" anonymous After hours of waiting for the bowling alley to open, We finally got the ball rolling. It's called an eraser. In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. 101 Funny Quotes to Make You Laugh - Hilarious Quotes About Life funny bowling slogans - Everyday is perfect for bowling - Its mind bowling shot - That's how I roll when I bowl - I live by the bowling alley - The last pin standing - Leave not pin - Don't let the pin stand - Fall of the pin - Watch out! The Empty Fridge Award - An award for the coworker who always seems to know when the good snacks are being delivered. My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls. "That bad, huh," his friend responded. A good golf partner is always slightly worse than you are and that's why I get so many calls to play with friends. Take that, you freaky piece of shit. He's got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker. The following is our hand picked collection of 50 of the funniest one line quotes that is sure to leave you in splits. They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there ever is a medical emergency, there is always a doctor nearby. Did you know that old bowlers do not die? 60+ Bowling Jokes That Won't Strike Out! | Kidadl I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo. Horace G. Hutchinson, 2-Time British Amateur Champion, Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. Knocking them downone pin at a time. 1. I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it. Now if only I could teach him to play fetch! I don't really do the one-liners and five second bits or whatever. Give someone on your team a group gift and coordinate with a sign up. The golf swing is like a suitcase in which we are trying to pack one too many things. Bowling Jokes | One Liners & Funny Bowling Humor - Ranker I wish I could play my normal gamejust once. That way people will always want to play with you! The closer we came to the alley, the louder the bowling thunder. We feel these funny bowling slogans and captions are right up your alley! What did one romantic pin say to the other? These are actual wording samples from real trophies and awards. Chris Rock's Opening at the 88th Academy Awards: The White People's Choice Awards . Roy: Thomas can raise a barn, but can he pick up a 7-10 split?Ishmael: God blessed my brother to be a good carpenter. free! Copyright text 2022 by Golf Sidekick. A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game. Flossin? This is bowling. Famous Bowling Quotes (And Funny Bowling Quotes) To Recite To Your Friends "This is not 'Nam. Bowling Jokes - Puns And One Liners Gerald Ford,US President, I'm getting better at golf now because I'm hitting fewer spectators. Ernie McCracken. He's got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker. That way people will always want to play with you! Caddy:Yes definitely you miss the ball much closer now, Golfer:Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?' Some great one-liners, some great banter between him and the contestants [on "The Apprentice" ]. These can lighten the mood and also make great personalization options for fun items like wobbly stress relievers. Keep your coworkers laughing with a few of these lighthearted awards! Famous Bowlers' Sayings. Baseball Puns Basketball Puns Bowling Puns Diving Puns Fishing Puns Football Puns Golf Puns Hockey Puns Running Puns Ski Puns Soccer Puns Swimming Puns Tennis Puns Volleyball Puns. Like amusic hits chart, I present theTop 10tongue-in-cheek responses to golfer's comments: Golfer:My golf is awful, I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake' Caddy:Think you can keep your head down this long?, Golfer:I'd move heaven and earth tobreak 100on this course Caddy:Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth', Golfer:You think my game has improved since you saw me last?' AGerry Adamsis the call when a golfer has to hit a second tee shot playing a provisional'relating to a former IRA Provisional leader. Age is an issue of mind over matter. Human beings love to laugh, and being able to notice life's little absurdities can make even bad days seem a bit cheerier.